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Bob Rivers & Twisted Radio

I Am Santa Claus

Review by Gary Hill

The back cover of this CD contains the following admonition. “If you’re looking for the true meaning of Christmas, buy this album. Then, by all means, keep looking.” That pretty well sums up the disc. If you are familiar with the craziness of Weird Al Yankovic, then you have a pretty good idea what to expect here. The songs are all pieces with a Christmas motif in one way or another. They are all parodies and satire. Most of them are quite funny. Although you might not particularly appreciate every song on this disc, you will probably laugh out loud to many of them.

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Track by Track Review
There's Another Santa Claus
Done to the tune of “Here Comes Santa Claus”, this one talks of the weirdness of seeing Santa’s everywhere. One of the most humorous parts of the cut is a break where we get Xmas greetings from an ethnically diverse group of Santas.
Walkin’ Round in Women’s Underwear
Other than the source of the song, “Walking in a Winter Wonderland”, this one really has nothing to do with Christmas. It is a very funny number, though, and given a full easy listening type of treatment.
I Am Santa Claus
The title track and showcase of the CD, this one is a reworking of Black Sabbath’s “Iron Man”, and the band does a great job of imitating the original while incorporating some holiday oriented elements. “Red suit, Boots of black, Big sack of toys hanging off his back, How much does he weigh? How do the reindeer pull his sleigh? Nobody sees him, As he travels the world, Leaving his presents, For the good boys and girls.”
Manger 6
This cut is a brief commercial for a motel chain called “Manger 6”. If you change the word “manger” to “motel”, you get the idea.
O Little Town of Bethlehem
Picture the song by this title sung to the tune of “House of the Rising Sun”. This is a great rocking version and good fun.
I Came Upon A Roadkill Deer
Of course, this one is based on “I Came Upon a Midnight Clear”. The lyrical content here is pretty obvious from the title, and, although a bit gruesome, is actually quite funny.
Teddy The Rednosed Senator
Rudolf was never like this. “You know Hitler and Caesar, and Agnew and Nixon, Stalin and Lenin, and David the Klansman, But do you recall the most famous politician of all?” With this introduction we are off on an irreverent and funny excursion.
Grahbe Yahbalz
Sung to the tune of “Deck The Halls”, this chorus of this one is “Grahbe Yahbalz like Michael Jackson, fa la la la, la la la la”.
A Letter to Santa
To the music of the Godfather with Christmas carols added in, a Marlon Brando sound-alike recites his letter to Santa as he is writing it. He is not asking for a gift, but rather making an offer, in a context regarding territory infringement being done by Santa.
Jingle Hells Bells
This is a good metal Christmas cut, with lyrics based on the song “My Favorite Things”. It goes over the metal-head list of favorite things including, “Girls in black leather with tight little tushes.”
The Kids
This is a somewhat heartwarming, only slightly funny interaction with a couple of kids talking to their father about Christmas.
The Magical Kingdom of Claus
A Wizard of Oz type fantasy, this one concerns Dorothy and Toto making their way down the “yellow snow road” to the mall in a quest to see the “overweight and wonderful Claus”.
The “What’s It To Ya” Chorus
Based on the “Hallelujah Chorus”, this one is an anthem to bad attitudes. “And we shall complain for ever and ever.”
Didn’t I Get This Last Year
The inspiration for this one is “Do You Hear What I Hear?” This one is a song to which we all should be able to relate.
The Under Tree World of Jacques Cousteau
A commercial for the newest Jacques Cousteau PBS special, this cut is a dialogue based piece. It concerns the adventure of the Sea Explorers being visited by Santa.
O Christmas Tree
With the tune of “O Christmas Tree” playing, we hear the cutting down of a tree, first with hand saw and later with chain saw. This is an instrumental arrangement with the saws playing out as an instrument in the mix.
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